sonicbillymays:

ahkep:

actionables:

the past is a strange place

cops on bikes used to transport criminals like this

image

this guy worked as an alarm for waking people up

image

one wheel motorcycle

image

pin-boys who manually lined pins up

image

baby cage for families who wanted their kids to get enough sunlight

image

zoo-keeper showering a penguin

image

But who woke up the guy that woke everyone else up

And who showered the guy who showered the penguins

(via riverismyspiritanimal)


sassy-spoon:

bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

image

When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

(via riverismyspiritanimal)


221cbakerstreet:

qwanderer:

thisisevenharderthannamingablog:

girl-farts:

kingcheddarxvii:

notviolet:

Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair

SHUT THE HELL U P

this man has gone too far

damn

Where does Marvel FIND these people?

Imagine - Chris Pratt and Jeremy Renner show up to your door the night of prom and your parents are like WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO DATES AND WHY ARE THEY SO BIG AND BEEFY AND INTIMIDATING but Chris is just like “Nah I’m hair” and Jeremy raises his hand and says “And I’m makeup”

surprisingly well done

(via riverismyspiritanimal)


itseasytoremember:

wicked-is-hella:

itseasytoremember:

I wonder if there are Quidditch “street rules” matches where everyone’s taking liquid luck and all spells are fair game

People have died and gone missing due to Quidditch as it is what are you doing

THEY TURN UP IN A MONTH OR TWO IT’S FINE CALM DOWN

(via norsedemigod)


sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

(via norsedemigod)


COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster

(via norsedemigod)


andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

monobeartheater:

absorr:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts 

 Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I’m reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling “WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!”

AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE

So that’s the function of a rubber duck.

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

monobeartheater:

absorr:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts

 Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I’m reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling “WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!”

AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE

So that’s the function of a rubber duck.

(via norsedemigod)


there-was-no-other-sound:

rnultiplayer:

wanna know what a cow looks like washed and blow dried?

image

image

that is what a cow looks like washed and blow dried

FLUFFY MILK HORSE

(via mydrunkkitchen)


Most Comic-Con panel guests: Walks on stage after being introduced, smiles, and waves, then sits down.
Robert Downey, Jr: Dances on stage to Michael Jackson music, brings on a suit case, and throws roses into the crowd.
Robert Downey, Jr: *continues dancing as his other cast members are introduced*

life-gets-bad-sometimes:

qonorrhea:

text posts are like children
you delete the ones that dont succeed

what

(via spendsleeplessnights)


frustrated-fallen-angel:

gallifreyanprincess:

insanitymobs:

asktheminecrafthuntress:

ykfinch:

ask-shadefire-midnight-and-elsa:

askdiamonddust:

funnyandhilarious:

New type of airplane… »

Oh hell nah!

My dad would be terrified

I would want the aisle seat.

Imagine it’s a late night flight, and everyone’s dozing off. In your half-asleep stupor you look down at the floor and you see a face gazing in at you through the glass, a face of something not quite human..

welcome to Tumblr, where the most interesting topics twist into nightmares.

how cool

frustrated-fallen-angel:

gallifreyanprincess:

insanitymobs:

asktheminecrafthuntress:

ykfinch:

ask-shadefire-midnight-and-elsa:

askdiamonddust:

funnyandhilarious:

New type of airplane… »

Oh hell nah!

My dad would be terrified

I would want the aisle seat.

Imagine it’s a late night flight, and everyone’s dozing off. In your half-asleep stupor you look down at the floor and you see a face gazing in at you through the glass, a face of something not quite human..

welcome to Tumblr, where the most interesting topics twist into nightmares.

how cool

(via spendsleeplessnights)


dangerhamster:

Quotes from the Harry Potter Books [22/50]

THIS BIT IN THE BOOK MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD!

"A nickname?"

"Yeah, it’s what my friends call me."

"I’m well aware of what a nickname is."

(via spendsleeplessnights)



raybucho:

eruditetyro:

pretend

a trillion motherfucking dollars
bitch i will actively be gay for a year

raybucho:

eruditetyro:

pretend

a trillion motherfucking dollars

bitch i will actively be gay for a year

(via spendsleeplessnights)